Sheiding in 2020
Shielding is not being able to leave your home at all
Shielding is using social distancing within the home
Shielding is sleeping in separate bedrooms when you want a hug
Shielding is not going out into the fresh air
Shielding is not being able to go outside to empty your own bin and doing your recycling
Shielding is physically being well but not able to go and do your own shopping
Shielding is really mentally hard!
Entrance into the unknown having just left week one
Which on reflection seems like three weeks have gone past
I feel some pressures of having to do things differently moving forward
In these twelve weeks I can do what I want
Maybe learn new skills read exercise or even show kindness to myself
Have some precious time doing something or doing nothing who knows
On this rollacoaster ride that changes day by day
My mood can change from second to second
I find myself laughing one minute and crying or even screaming the next
I try to be brave but sometime I will break
Walking up and down the hallway for exercise in this place that has a lot of space nothing on my mind but the next step I will take
I am living in real time not thinking of the past or future
This has some freedom to it, I’m not thinking but stepping into the step noticing how I move the sounds of my slipper sliding and scraping along the wooden floorboards
Yesterday I believed I was not going to rely on others as they let you down
Today I could not do without the support of others
Today I realised asking for help is not a weakness but a strength
It is about taking power and control in what has to be done whilst stuck in this situation
So that I do not lose the essence of who I am
I will just be who I am now in this moment
As we do not own tomorrows
Grace Roach, March 2020
